Heart Shaped Key

Heart-Shaped Key
By, Jess Dickson

Behind this door I have hidden
So many times thrown to the floor
Finding relief in shadow-puppet dreams
Locked away with a heart-shaped key
Tossed in broken-promises-wind
Whispered goodbyes trailing after
Beating slow and letting go

Impressions of the Night

Impressions of the Night
By, Jess Dickson

Standing alone
Stars stare knowingly down,
Representing tortured souls
Too weak to persist
The moon watches from above
Twisted mouth, daring to mock
Streaks of gentle light,
Illuminate silent tears,
My footprints and theirs
Imprinted, carving their shape
Into my bleeding hearts flesh
A tidal wave washes out hope
Its current my captor
Maybe what I left behind
Was never there at all...

Last Dance

Last Dance
By Jess Dickson

Closing my eyes to seek sleep,
A wisp of rest from the weariness that has sunken on my soul,
It eludes me, refuses me
It is the distant-close rap, rapping you search for but cannot find
In its place a quiet haunting, deep but soft,
Painful- aching not sharp
Darkness becomes light, turn of a switch
Silence becomes music, press of a button
Still it remains
Growing larger in shadows,
Gaining power in melodies
I look but cannot find reason
Where in this night have I missed the turn?
My mind searches steps of days passing- did I miss one?
How did the beat of my heart lose
Rhythms of self repression?
Tap dance of deceit
A little right, a little left,
Go forward, come back
My mind twirls around the memories
Faces with names I’ve never known
Names with faces I’ll never forget
Tap-tap
Tap-tap-tap
Have we shared our last dance?

Morning After

Morning After
By, Jess Dickson


There is no freedom here
Trapped without a key between these walls
Can’t walk, can’t breathe
Can’t forget you
Beauty escapes in the trickle down
Hot on the throat where screams have come
Drowning memories with 80 proof
Replacing touch with bottlenecks
Chasing tears with carbonated promises

There is no love here
Between these loveless sheets
Don’t stay, don’t go
Don’t remember me
Streaked mascara reflection of loathing
Chemical passion evaporated in waking breath
Joy’s illusion disappears with the sun
Covering tears and skin with terrycloth security
Fleeing shame’s coils in steam

There is no life here
Breathing without soul
Heart beating prayers to porcelain
Won’t live, won’t die
Won’t drown
Yesterday’s dreams swirling down
Scattered across tiled regrets
Bloodshot eyes colorblind
Gray saturates rainbowed hope
This morning after

Lost Reflection

Lost Reflection
By, Jess Dickson

Reflections of days past
Dance upon the waters
All the times I fell on my knees
Soul-prayers bleeding
From a broken heart-shaped hole
Never-ending tears cried in silence
Smudging hope’s ink
Shattered-glass-self in splinters at my feet
Winding-paths taken that can’t be traced
Invisible-steps of a life lived in secret
Identity lost inside someone else’s memory
Searching for waves of self
In reflections of today

Hitchhiker- a collaborative

I want to say a heartfelt thanks to my dear friend RockDog for his work on this piece. It is such an honor to have his talent at work with my words.

Ralph, my friend, you are awesome in so many ways. Thank you. Thank you for being my friend and for asking me to team up and collab with you on this. You ROCK!!!!

..Hitchhiker (A Collab Write)

Can you see me standing here?

I’m the one envisioned,
Through pink glasses with cracked innocence,
Walking on the side of my road.
Extended...beyond what's right.
Begging...for a moment of mercy.
With no conviction for directions,
I carry a backpack riddled by blood and bullet holes.
Filled with bottled promises of a fool's freedom.

Can you see me standing here?

I'm the one looking back
At the road less traveled.
Where memories left behind,
Rise...with the moon.
Haunting...the easements of my ego.
My feet break blisters,
My heart simply breaks.
My soles worn paper-thin.

Can you see me standing here?

Maybe it's because I'm running.
Running, always running...
From the inside out.
Fears...flow as my tears.
Dampen...my life from burdens I still carry.
Past a signpost lamenting,
"Freedom - 500 Miles"
Hitchhiking for just one moment of homeless rest.

Can you see me now?
..
..©2009 Jess Dickson
©2009 Ralph Koschnitzke


This is the old, pre-RockDog magic version....

Hitchhiker
By, Jess Dickson

Can you see me standing here?

I’m the one you see
Through pink glasses cracked with innocence
On the side of the road
Thumb extended
Begging for direction without conviction
With a backpack sprinkled with blood and bullet holes
Full of bottled promises; liquified freedom
Memories left behind rise to haunt again
My feet, heart blistered
Soles worn paper-thin
Running, always running
From the inside out
Hitchhiking to a freedom
I can’t escape

Can you see me now?

Ghostly Remembrance

Ghostly Remembrance
By, Jess Dickson


Wind it tighter
Rope coiled around my wrists
Tight enough to cut into skin
Into the existence left of me
Press it harder
Gun shoved against my head
Carving its’ barrel into my temple
Into the heart that remains

I fear nothing, this promised death
You hold out like candy
Choking breath from my mouth
My body doesn’t sway with the swing of your belt
My soul cannot break without being whole
As welts rise to meet the leather-strikes falling down

Murder in haste
Release me now
One final blow into never
Into the light of ending
Walk faster
Stride bolder now into hell
Leaves crackle beneath the girth of your demons
Weight of your sins

I hear nothing, sitting on this stone
Beneath my body lies
In the soil of stolen innocence
My soul still imprisoned by memories funeral prayers could not wash clean
My heart still bleeds for the child that never got to be
A ghost rises to meet the tears raining down

Tightrope Truth

Tightrope Truth
By, Jess Dickson

Storm’s rumble between the confining lines of truth
Symmetry of silent vowels and sharp consonants restrict the flow of soul
Swirling twisting spiral, up and down
Down and up wreaking havoc
Streams of tears
Starburst smiles- unexpected shining
Disappearing dark and swift
Dream-like phantoms feast on my mind
A whispered haunting
On this tightrope above the fires of hell
One tiny little slip
Small tumble of toes
What remains of me turns to ash

Memory Sword

Myspace Comments

Memory Sword
By, Jess Dickson

Innocence sings a nursery rhyme
The itsy-bitsy spider went up to fall from London Bridges
A freefall of childhood, one by one
Laughter-dances, twirling purple dress
Pig-tailed and freckle faced


Innocence croons a lullaby
Rise and fall of gentle touch-notes
Butterfly kisses still dancing in the air
Sweet smells of you lingering deep
Endless well of love

Innocence cries a silent haunting
Drunken twisted metal collision
White light blinded into forever
Angels swarm to give her fly-away wings
Angel girl don’t go…

Innocence sighs on the wind
Lost in the sound of sirens and screams
Heart-world shattered
Souls broken-lost in final exhale
Breath between heaven and hell

Innocence silenced
Concrete crucifix
One last footprint left behind
Eyes turned from sight disbelieved
Memory sword my only truth

Paint For Me

Paint For Me
By, Jess Dickson



Paint me a picture
Show me the colors, the rainbow of your life
Her aged hands nudge the brush between my fingers
Saddened eyes pleading, imploring, quietly demanding

I can’t
There’s no color, no image
Real or abstract that could possess this life

Show me the hues of your pain
The fiery reds of anger that burns inside
Darkened sadness blues, glowing yellow hope
Frail shoulders tremble in pleading

I can’t
The canvas is as black as the space inside
I stare at my shoes, soul’s paper-thin

Paint for me
Do not die in darkness child
Paint for me, one last time

Stay With Me

Stay With Me
By, Jess Dickson

This house we once called home
Is nothing more than shelter now
Walls, 2 by 4 disenchanted fantasies stand between
How did we arrive here? When did the fire die?
Embers glow in the woodstove, in this heart of mine, hanging on
Remembering the boyish grin that captivated, elevated me
Feeling the palm of memory upon my lonely skin
As I climb these creaking steps, silently crying out to you

Come to me
Come to me now
Hold me in those sculptured arms, gentle-strong and loving-long

This bed we once called heaven
Is a mere sleeping place now
King-sized thoughts unspoken rest on pillows
Where did we go wrong? When did we stop touching?
Sheets caress where your hands used to rest
Reminding again of laying here solitaire

Come to me
Come to me now
Kiss me with those promise filled lips, sweet-wine and chocolate laced

Those floors we once danced upon
Are hoping, moaning now
Sighing in relief as your footfalls advance
Is it possible? Could you hear my tear-shelled heart breaking?
Souls and hands unite in quiet murmurs of understanding
Love serenades our dance of forgiveness

Stay with me
Stay with me now

Final Liberty

Final Liberty
By, Jess Dickson


Whisper-dust hangs in the air
Murmurs of apologies for long-lost sins
Softly spoken pledges of love
As our eyes, life-devoid catch a glimpse of light
Already forsaken, darkness embraced
Silent-shattered voices merge to question
This secret oath we now abide
As life quietly ebbs from bodies we once moved
Months spent planning this moment
This dying day
Wondering what would have been
Heaven or hell, who will call us home now?
Funny, how we chose this room
Surrounded by blood-scrawled pictures
The red-life-giving liquid was all that was left
Of me, of you
Our only act of liberty
Was to reclaim what was never theirs
Reaching out to you
To me
This dying day

Wall Watching

Wall Watching
By, Jess Dickson


You don’t think I see- but I do
I see the way you run, always in motion
Trying to escape yourself
I see the layers you paint upon your face
Masking the failings of body and mind

You don’t think I hear- but I do
I hear the words you whisper in the dark
And quiet breaths of surrender as sleep covers you
The veiled laughter that tumbles from your lips

You don’t think I know- but I do
I know the secrets you hide in the basement of your soul
Beneath boxes of photos you’d rather forget
I know the way your body curls against itself
Holding together the pieces that remain

You don’t think I see
Don’t think I know
But I do