Pressed

Pressed
By, Jess Dickson


Between monuments of nights
On a bed of leaving pressed beneath
Where nightmares and soul are buried alive
Screaming for breath released in tombs
Of silence where the unspoken resides
Housed in tears blackened by soiled regrets
Ages pass in moonlight’s shadow
Forbidden years left behind

Between monuments of nights
On a bed of leaving pressed beneath
Where memories and heart are buried alive
Crying for agony liberated by a single starlit plea
That echoes in the mind of deceased illusions
Trapped in the throat closed on love
Lifetimes yield to iron minutes
Deflected hours left behind

Between monuments of nights
On a bed of leaving pressed beneath

The Ones That Aren't Mine

The Ones That Aren’t Mine
By, Jess Dickson


Bruises pain the face
That possessed his clenched fist
Destroying joy’s perfect pretension
Impressions blend in rainbow layers
Painted on by the letting go

I can still feel knuckles hitting bones, the ones that aren’t mine…

Nicotine stings the lungs
That owned the screams
Devastating silence’ glass
Echoes drift in upward coils
Released by the held in exhale

I can still hear the voice, the one that isn’t mine…

Freedom burns the mind
That claimed his madness
Disturbing all knowing oblivion
Allusions swirl in an imprisoned shadow
Obscured at the joining of lives

I can still touch delirium’s tendrils, the ones that aren’t mine…

Memories sear the soul
That captured drops of heart
Drenching papyrus anticipation
Wishes lay parched at the bottom of the well
Powdered by the friction of years

I can still taste the tears, the ones that are mine…

As If It Were Yours To Give Away

As If It Were Yours to Give Away
By, Jess Dickson


In silence broken only by breath
I watch as payment is made,
Innocence bought and sold
Just a simple trade
Bargaining with my soul
As if it were yours to give away

You promise another ‘round
Or two…what did it matter?
Bruises darken to contrast powdered lies
Just a simple trade
Bargaining with my sanity
As if it were yours to give away

In darkness cracked only by invisible tears
I listen as floorboards creak
Announcing your turn has come
Just a simple trade
Bargaining with my heart
As if it were yours to take away

You promise another ‘round
Or two…what did it matter?
Apologies contained in the vial
Just a simple trade
Bargaining with my mind
As if it were yours to take away…

Newspaper Times

Newspaper Times
By, Jess Dickson

Crushed between the wrinkles of time and tears
Spirit’s cry left behind in stories laid out and kept
Concealed in folds of memory behind the veil
Of headline smiles bleeding into parchment lies
Scribe of self relegated to comics and classifieds
Seeking recognition between the crease of touch
Hand-pressed thoughts balled into fine print confusion
By circumstantial pages joined at the corners of hope
Paper-cut dreams sting with healing possibilities
Tattered not torn, saved by love’s binding twine
Coiled around shared front page dreams

~Untitled~

~Untitled~
By, Jess Dickson

Time chokes
Breath caught
On the second hand
Set in the moment
Death claimed soul

Tears rain
Drowning days
The ones that went
And never came
Stolen by fatal sleep

Pain clutches
Heart shatters
Into bits that never
Land to mend

To Be...

To Be...
By, Jess Dickson


I yearn to watch you dreaming
Eyes tickling lids to keep up
I yearn to dream with you
To enter your slumber
As its gentleness covers my head
And walk at your side
Through the luminous forest
Of colored leaves
With its glowing sun
And multiple moons
Towards to peak you must ascend
To meet your greatest fear
I yearn to give you the olive branch
The blooming gardenia
The single word that will shield you
From the anguish at the center
I yearn to guide you
Up the spiral stairs
Be the vessel that brings you home
Where your body rests beside me
And enters sleep
As easily as breathing in
I yearn to be the air
That swirls within you
For only a moment
I yearn to be…

Calling Us Home

Calling Us Home
By, Jess Dickson


Clinging to the raft of reason
Fingers tangled in compassion’s knot
Swells of madness rush o’er heads bent low
Resisting current’s wrath with planks of anticipation
Lives collide in waves of time standing still
Forbidden tears restrain screams in the drift
As we navigate our passage with oars of language
Visions set on lighthouse brilliant truth
Signaling us to move beyond pervading darkness
Calling us home

Reflected Hope

Reflected Hope
By, Jess Dickson

Searching deranged glass for reflection,
Cracked with brutal truth by the fist of terror
Pondering a moment yet to pass through refraction
Considering the fragments that remain in broken place
Pointing with inside eyes at the scars
Still remaining after passing ages of scattered self
Misplaced by after-thoughts and forget-me-nots
Repression’s grace saves today’s face
Cloaked with the smile that radiates only for you
Unpronounced speculation concealed in its glow
Questioning inverse perspective of dedication
Lesions of spirit healed in your vision
Eyes that gaze beyond the blemish of tears
Offering yourself without hesitation
Replenishing dried wells of inspiration
Irrigated with distilled waters of devotion
Hope infuses fractured dreams
Revealing desires of long awaited tomorrows
Resting in the outstretched palms of divinity
Summoned by the yearning prayer of freedom
Finding its beacon in the sparkle of hearts

Kaleidoscope Life

Kaleidoscope Life
By, Jess Dickson

Tear shaped hours have shed light afire
Shades of grey transformed with the turn of heart
Our kaleidoscope discovered beneath ruins of timeless visions
Rooted in the seconds they began
Behind doors locked with yesterdays key
Dust covered souls hidden within boxes we designed
Integrity of self placed in shadowed corners
Set free to soar home on wings of grace
Verity of life revealed in brilliant longing hues
What we left behind waits in the breath of dawn
Hollow dreams animated by hopes gentle strokes
As eyes meet to witness prisms only we can see
In this, our kaleidoscope life

The Lonesome Path of Fall Ends In Spring
By, Jess Dickson with R.D.

Where is the special place?
Beyond the reach of foliage, hidden in the maple’s renewal
And who lives there?
Just a simple girl with a grace-carved heart
When will I see her?
Let the hope-rays light the way of your heart’s vision
How long must I wait?
Seasons will fold in God’s hands when ours begins
The search is long and only just begun
Your quest has found its ending here, in this period of new creation
To travel on down
Set your sights above the gray unto the purest expanse of life
Such a lonesome path of fall
You traveled here on the east winds of transformation
Like the gold of a rainbow
Emerging from passing life storms, thunder- cries of winters gone by
Not one gold, but all colors together is she
Melded together by forgiving anticipation, divine preparation
The one I'm searching for
Is finally within your circle, never broken, of boundless dreams
The reason I'm on this road
Has finally been revealed in the cry of the cardinal finding home
Where may I find my love?
Beneath the maple, waiting for you on an unmeasured bench of understanding

Dedication

Dedication
By, Jess Dickson

We were...
   Swallowed by waters of timeless desperation
   Drenched in waves of catastrophic nostalgia
   Profoundly submerged in oceanic blues

We never…
    Considered the hope in a star’s beckoning
    Believed in midnight’s lustrous radiance
    Pondered the notion of breath lacking that intrinsic ache

We are…
    Surfacing in shades of rebirth
    Captivated by strokes of divinity unearthed
    Finding jewels among life’s soiled tokens

We have…
    Eyes dyed with serene acceptance
    A heart faith-painted with hues of allegiance
    Lips to impart the kiss of healing declaration

Buds In Bloom

Bud’s In Bloom
By, Jess Dickson

Waiting for revelation to descend
Falling truth-drops into outstretched hands
Cupped with knowledge of yesterday’s tears
Suspended midstream by evidence of grace
Despair’s shadow eclipsed by love
Mercy imparted on faith’s open wings
Grief departs on the back of a dove
Feathered with implicit truth
Soaring on prayerful winds of change
Beauty resounds in time shared
Silent whispers perched on moments claimed
Pondering the buds about to expose the blossom
Growing on this olive branch of peaceful giving

Jagged Reflections

Jagged Reflections
By, Jess Dickson

Between reflection and flesh
Memories emerge from hidden caverns
Buried deep within the sands of time
Slipping through the hours glass
Creeping across my face
Stitched together with silence threads
Covered with shames foundation
Tracing the broken path
I wonder if my eyes betray my guise
Do strands of shredded self fray at the edge
Between reflection and flesh?

Letting Go

Letting Go
By, Jess Dickson


I’m screaming silent pleas
Beneath these prison sheets
Hearing only muffled whispers
The blurred hum of mechanics 
Pumping their entrapment
Don’t you know I’m already gone?
My spirit took flight beneath the knife
All that remains is skin
There is no soul within

Your eyes are searching
Seeking answers in the void
I can feel your heart breaking
Realizing our dance has ended
You hear only the beeping
The turning off of breath
Dreams and life forsaken

Light dances in my darkness
Please don’t cry
I’m finally free of all the pain you tried to heal
My heart has found its flight-wings
I’m soaring home now
Goodbye love
I’ll be waiting for you…

Crying House

Crying House
By, Jess Dickson

The air is thick here,
This crying-dying house of hell
Tears drip from the roof of broken promises
Images gaze accusingly from the nails that hung them there
Crucified memories
Child laughter-scribbles on the walls
Full of glee and silenced here
Brokenness creaks in the stairs
Dreams fallen through the cracks of varnished floors
What-could-have-been’s hide in the corner
Of projects long abandoned to tears
Heaps of laundry-lies stashed in the basement
Piled high between lights and darks
The air is empty here,
This dying-crying house of goodbye

Heart Shaped Key

Heart-Shaped Key
By, Jess Dickson

Behind this door I have hidden
So many times thrown to the floor
Finding relief in shadow-puppet dreams
Locked away with a heart-shaped key
Tossed in broken-promises-wind
Whispered goodbyes trailing after
Beating slow and letting go

Impressions of the Night

Impressions of the Night
By, Jess Dickson

Standing alone
Stars stare knowingly down,
Representing tortured souls
Too weak to persist
The moon watches from above
Twisted mouth, daring to mock
Streaks of gentle light,
Illuminate silent tears,
My footprints and theirs
Imprinted, carving their shape
Into my bleeding hearts flesh
A tidal wave washes out hope
Its current my captor
Maybe what I left behind
Was never there at all...

Last Dance

Last Dance
By Jess Dickson

Closing my eyes to seek sleep,
A wisp of rest from the weariness that has sunken on my soul,
It eludes me, refuses me
It is the distant-close rap, rapping you search for but cannot find
In its place a quiet haunting, deep but soft,
Painful- aching not sharp
Darkness becomes light, turn of a switch
Silence becomes music, press of a button
Still it remains
Growing larger in shadows,
Gaining power in melodies
I look but cannot find reason
Where in this night have I missed the turn?
My mind searches steps of days passing- did I miss one?
How did the beat of my heart lose
Rhythms of self repression?
Tap dance of deceit
A little right, a little left,
Go forward, come back
My mind twirls around the memories
Faces with names I’ve never known
Names with faces I’ll never forget
Tap-tap
Tap-tap-tap
Have we shared our last dance?

Morning After

Morning After
By, Jess Dickson


There is no freedom here
Trapped without a key between these walls
Can’t walk, can’t breathe
Can’t forget you
Beauty escapes in the trickle down
Hot on the throat where screams have come
Drowning memories with 80 proof
Replacing touch with bottlenecks
Chasing tears with carbonated promises

There is no love here
Between these loveless sheets
Don’t stay, don’t go
Don’t remember me
Streaked mascara reflection of loathing
Chemical passion evaporated in waking breath
Joy’s illusion disappears with the sun
Covering tears and skin with terrycloth security
Fleeing shame’s coils in steam

There is no life here
Breathing without soul
Heart beating prayers to porcelain
Won’t live, won’t die
Won’t drown
Yesterday’s dreams swirling down
Scattered across tiled regrets
Bloodshot eyes colorblind
Gray saturates rainbowed hope
This morning after

Lost Reflection

Lost Reflection
By, Jess Dickson

Reflections of days past
Dance upon the waters
All the times I fell on my knees
Soul-prayers bleeding
From a broken heart-shaped hole
Never-ending tears cried in silence
Smudging hope’s ink
Shattered-glass-self in splinters at my feet
Winding-paths taken that can’t be traced
Invisible-steps of a life lived in secret
Identity lost inside someone else’s memory
Searching for waves of self
In reflections of today

Hitchhiker- a collaborative

I want to say a heartfelt thanks to my dear friend RockDog for his work on this piece. It is such an honor to have his talent at work with my words.

Ralph, my friend, you are awesome in so many ways. Thank you. Thank you for being my friend and for asking me to team up and collab with you on this. You ROCK!!!!

..Hitchhiker (A Collab Write)

Can you see me standing here?

I’m the one envisioned,
Through pink glasses with cracked innocence,
Walking on the side of my road.
Extended...beyond what's right.
Begging...for a moment of mercy.
With no conviction for directions,
I carry a backpack riddled by blood and bullet holes.
Filled with bottled promises of a fool's freedom.

Can you see me standing here?

I'm the one looking back
At the road less traveled.
Where memories left behind,
Rise...with the moon.
Haunting...the easements of my ego.
My feet break blisters,
My heart simply breaks.
My soles worn paper-thin.

Can you see me standing here?

Maybe it's because I'm running.
Running, always running...
From the inside out.
Fears...flow as my tears.
Dampen...my life from burdens I still carry.
Past a signpost lamenting,
"Freedom - 500 Miles"
Hitchhiking for just one moment of homeless rest.

Can you see me now?
..
..©2009 Jess Dickson
©2009 Ralph Koschnitzke


This is the old, pre-RockDog magic version....

Hitchhiker
By, Jess Dickson

Can you see me standing here?

I’m the one you see
Through pink glasses cracked with innocence
On the side of the road
Thumb extended
Begging for direction without conviction
With a backpack sprinkled with blood and bullet holes
Full of bottled promises; liquified freedom
Memories left behind rise to haunt again
My feet, heart blistered
Soles worn paper-thin
Running, always running
From the inside out
Hitchhiking to a freedom
I can’t escape

Can you see me now?

Ghostly Remembrance

Ghostly Remembrance
By, Jess Dickson


Wind it tighter
Rope coiled around my wrists
Tight enough to cut into skin
Into the existence left of me
Press it harder
Gun shoved against my head
Carving its’ barrel into my temple
Into the heart that remains

I fear nothing, this promised death
You hold out like candy
Choking breath from my mouth
My body doesn’t sway with the swing of your belt
My soul cannot break without being whole
As welts rise to meet the leather-strikes falling down

Murder in haste
Release me now
One final blow into never
Into the light of ending
Walk faster
Stride bolder now into hell
Leaves crackle beneath the girth of your demons
Weight of your sins

I hear nothing, sitting on this stone
Beneath my body lies
In the soil of stolen innocence
My soul still imprisoned by memories funeral prayers could not wash clean
My heart still bleeds for the child that never got to be
A ghost rises to meet the tears raining down

Tightrope Truth

Tightrope Truth
By, Jess Dickson

Storm’s rumble between the confining lines of truth
Symmetry of silent vowels and sharp consonants restrict the flow of soul
Swirling twisting spiral, up and down
Down and up wreaking havoc
Streams of tears
Starburst smiles- unexpected shining
Disappearing dark and swift
Dream-like phantoms feast on my mind
A whispered haunting
On this tightrope above the fires of hell
One tiny little slip
Small tumble of toes
What remains of me turns to ash

Memory Sword

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Memory Sword
By, Jess Dickson

Innocence sings a nursery rhyme
The itsy-bitsy spider went up to fall from London Bridges
A freefall of childhood, one by one
Laughter-dances, twirling purple dress
Pig-tailed and freckle faced


Innocence croons a lullaby
Rise and fall of gentle touch-notes
Butterfly kisses still dancing in the air
Sweet smells of you lingering deep
Endless well of love

Innocence cries a silent haunting
Drunken twisted metal collision
White light blinded into forever
Angels swarm to give her fly-away wings
Angel girl don’t go…

Innocence sighs on the wind
Lost in the sound of sirens and screams
Heart-world shattered
Souls broken-lost in final exhale
Breath between heaven and hell

Innocence silenced
Concrete crucifix
One last footprint left behind
Eyes turned from sight disbelieved
Memory sword my only truth

Paint For Me

Paint For Me
By, Jess Dickson



Paint me a picture
Show me the colors, the rainbow of your life
Her aged hands nudge the brush between my fingers
Saddened eyes pleading, imploring, quietly demanding

I can’t
There’s no color, no image
Real or abstract that could possess this life

Show me the hues of your pain
The fiery reds of anger that burns inside
Darkened sadness blues, glowing yellow hope
Frail shoulders tremble in pleading

I can’t
The canvas is as black as the space inside
I stare at my shoes, soul’s paper-thin

Paint for me
Do not die in darkness child
Paint for me, one last time

Stay With Me

Stay With Me
By, Jess Dickson

This house we once called home
Is nothing more than shelter now
Walls, 2 by 4 disenchanted fantasies stand between
How did we arrive here? When did the fire die?
Embers glow in the woodstove, in this heart of mine, hanging on
Remembering the boyish grin that captivated, elevated me
Feeling the palm of memory upon my lonely skin
As I climb these creaking steps, silently crying out to you

Come to me
Come to me now
Hold me in those sculptured arms, gentle-strong and loving-long

This bed we once called heaven
Is a mere sleeping place now
King-sized thoughts unspoken rest on pillows
Where did we go wrong? When did we stop touching?
Sheets caress where your hands used to rest
Reminding again of laying here solitaire

Come to me
Come to me now
Kiss me with those promise filled lips, sweet-wine and chocolate laced

Those floors we once danced upon
Are hoping, moaning now
Sighing in relief as your footfalls advance
Is it possible? Could you hear my tear-shelled heart breaking?
Souls and hands unite in quiet murmurs of understanding
Love serenades our dance of forgiveness

Stay with me
Stay with me now

Final Liberty

Final Liberty
By, Jess Dickson


Whisper-dust hangs in the air
Murmurs of apologies for long-lost sins
Softly spoken pledges of love
As our eyes, life-devoid catch a glimpse of light
Already forsaken, darkness embraced
Silent-shattered voices merge to question
This secret oath we now abide
As life quietly ebbs from bodies we once moved
Months spent planning this moment
This dying day
Wondering what would have been
Heaven or hell, who will call us home now?
Funny, how we chose this room
Surrounded by blood-scrawled pictures
The red-life-giving liquid was all that was left
Of me, of you
Our only act of liberty
Was to reclaim what was never theirs
Reaching out to you
To me
This dying day

Wall Watching

Wall Watching
By, Jess Dickson


You don’t think I see- but I do
I see the way you run, always in motion
Trying to escape yourself
I see the layers you paint upon your face
Masking the failings of body and mind

You don’t think I hear- but I do
I hear the words you whisper in the dark
And quiet breaths of surrender as sleep covers you
The veiled laughter that tumbles from your lips

You don’t think I know- but I do
I know the secrets you hide in the basement of your soul
Beneath boxes of photos you’d rather forget
I know the way your body curls against itself
Holding together the pieces that remain

You don’t think I see
Don’t think I know
But I do

Damaged Goods

Damaged Goods
By, Jess Dickson

Eyes turned within, peering inside
Look away now
Look away
The walls are crawling, cockroach memory infested
Broken heart bones heaped in cryptic corners
Yesterdays faces distorted
Innocence thieving ogres

Eyes blood streaked and color-blind
Go away
Go away now
Nails overgrown to fight, claw
Find the bottom of this tomb
Sharpened by death’s unforgiving blade

Eyes turned inside, peeking within
Come back now
Come back
Sludge of soul oozes through pores
Spilling black-oil tears

Eyes turned out, peering to light
Hold me
Hold me now
Aching hands reveal faith in nothing known
Nothing but you

Can You?

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Can You?
By, Jess Dickson

Standing still
Standing still and gazing out
Rivulet’s tickling toes
Feel it
Feel its gentle rush, swift descent

Bending low
Bending low and staring down
Droplets rest upon the back of stones
See it
See the winking moonbeam, caught inside

Am I here?
Please tell me, can you see me?
Illusions of substance ensnared
Caught in the knot of days, life slipped away
Without me

Can you hear me?
Please tell me, can you hear me?
Mist of breath suspended
Vibration of thought-sounds dangle out of reach
Frozen secrets, time capsulated truth
Clutched by gnarled willow fingers
Could I ever speak at all?


Kneeling down
Kneeling down and hanging on
Tears drip, a light rain of isolation
Bitter tracings of memories escaped
Soul-fired cries released

Can you see-
Can you hear me now?
Can you?

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Conjured Love
By, Jess Dickson

I have dreamed you
Crafted you in the grayness of sleep
Sculpted your body with my hands, strong enough to hold
Weak enough to bend
Pushed the curve of your lips into a smile
Sprinkled light into your eyes

I have known you
Traded secrets in silence
Cut-open hearts and imagined fairytales
Chased you in shadows
Laughing-dancing-twirling-passion

I have loved you
Felt the warm meeting of skin
All-consuming binding souls
Free-falling heart-shaped promises

I have waited for you
Perched low in obscure fantasy
Breath held in
Sorted through men
Papers caught in wind
Void of meaning
Fly away
Fly

I have found you
Long years wasted come to perfect end
Conjured lover brought to life

Shaking Free

wolf comments and graphics

Shaking Free
By, Jess Dickson


I saw you at the edge of time, casting bones to ghosts
Bargaining for the faces of souls trapped
Beneath the ice-wall of self-recrimination
Before the bones fell, a free-fall of forgiveness
You danced across the sky, leaving a trail of silver light
In the thunder of landing home the ice cracked
Crooned a gentle song of peace

When my blinded eyes couldn’t see
That shimmering light, trail of sparkle-dust
Still you came to me
Like the scent of a mid-summer storm
Carried by the wind
On a late August night
Just enough to make me shudder,

I’m just a girl
Who listened to the cry of wolves
Too many nights following the scent of despair
Whose voice can’t find the song, out of tune, out of range


Tonight you come in close, closer
Singing low, whisper-love and letting go
Shaking the stars from the hook of the moon
Shaking me free

Touchable Dreams

Touchable Dreams
By, Jess Dickson

Oh to be the air you breathe
Swirl between the slit of your lips
As dreams faraway tickle your eyes

My dream's to sleep inside the rain
Beside the storm of passion
That smolders sensation and brews strong drink

Morning cup of heart
Sipped through lips that only part
For you, your milk thistle language

I’ve learned every vowel, every consonant
In the punch drunk color my lazy tongue suffers
Awakening only in the night
To coil around the edge of your sighs
Cleanse you free from the world outside
Where they paint their demands upon your chest
And the unevenness of me
Comes to rest

You tangle my hair in your fingers
Seemingly unaware
Of the heart-roots planted in your palm

Oh to be the air we breathe
Dancing between parted lips
Bodies and souls joined in the space between
As touchable dreams we create